From: Tun Kai Poh [t_poh@hotmail.com] Sent: Tuesday, March 09, 1999 12:56 AM To: blue_planet@mpgn.com Subject: Re: [BLUE PLANET] - Story: Desperation and Futility Auberon said: >Bravo! Good characterization, and use of the third person. The only >comment I'd have is that the only mention of this character's personal >life is an apartment. Some more personal information would allow more >understanding of this person. Yeah, quite true. I've been trying too hard to push the plot forwards. I do have some background information on Baum and her family, but I put it aside to rush the Westcape media crisis storyline along. I think I'm going to develop the family angle more now. I'm also planning to do a major rewrite of "Media Critics." Thanks for pointing out the shortcomings. The ironic thing is that Baum started out as a generic Incorporate official who's supposed to perform only one plot function in the whole story... Kai Poh, Malaysian Lagomorph ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com *************************************************************************** To unsubscribe from this list send mail to majordomo@mpgn.com with the line 'unsubscribe blue_planet' as the body of the message. From: Auberon [fskln1@uaf.edu] Sent: Monday, March 08, 1999 7:21 PM To: blue_planet@mpgn.com Subject: Re: [BLUE PLANET] - Story: Desperation and Futility Tun Kai Poh wrote: > > The following is a continuation from the events of my previous stories. > Enjoy! Bravo! Good characterization, and use of the third person. The only comment I'd have is that the only mention of this character's personal life is an apartment. Some more personal information would allow more understanding of this person. -- +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= "I never get involved in my own life. It's too much trouble" - Michael Garibaldi (Babylon 5) *************************************************************************** To unsubscribe from this list send mail to majordomo@mpgn.com with the line 'unsubscribe blue_planet' as the body of the message. From: c718678@showme.missouri.edu Sent: Tuesday, March 09, 1999 1:20 AM To: blue_planet@mpgn.com Subject: Re: [BLUE PLANET] - Story: Desperation and Futility I disagree that there isn't enough characterization. I liked it the way it is, and I think more on Gertie's character and family life would be overkill. Good stuff, Kai! I look forward to your next installments:) Later, Eva @@@(* > *)@@@ On Mon, 8 Mar 1999, Tun Kai Poh wrote: > Auberon said: > >Bravo! Good characterization, and use of the third person. The only > >comment I'd have is that the only mention of this character's personal > >life is an apartment. Some more personal information would allow more > >understanding of this person. > > Yeah, quite true. I've been trying too hard to push the plot forwards. I > do have some background information on Baum and her family, but I put it > aside to rush the Westcape media crisis storyline along. I think I'm > going to develop the family angle more now. I'm also planning to do a > major rewrite of "Media Critics." > > Thanks for pointing out the shortcomings. > > The ironic thing is that Baum started out as a generic Incorporate > official who's supposed to perform only one plot function in the whole > story... > > Kai Poh, Malaysian Lagomorph > > > ______________________________________________________ > Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com > *************************************************************************** > To unsubscribe from this list send mail to majordomo@mpgn.com with the line > 'unsubscribe blue_planet' as the body of the message. > *************************************************************************** To unsubscribe from this list send mail to majordomo@mpgn.com with the line 'unsubscribe blue_planet' as the body of the message. From: Tun Kai Poh [t_poh@hotmail.com] Sent: Tuesday, March 09, 1999 1:36 AM To: blue_planet@mpgn.com Subject: Re: [BLUE PLANET] - Story: Desperation and Futility Eva said: >I disagree that there isn't enough characterization. I liked it the way >it is, and I think more on Gertie's character and family life would be >overkill. Well, to each their own. I really liked the constructive critique about the personal life simply because it means I have a new direction to concentrate on which I'd forgotten about. And one of the major themes of the upcoming story will be family. >Good stuff, Kai! I look forward to your next installments:) Hah, you think it's overkill because I already told you in private email how the story ends, right? Well, I've changed that ending in rewrite. Slightly... Stay tuned. You ain't seen nothing yet. Kai Poh ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com *************************************************************************** To unsubscribe from this list send mail to majordomo@mpgn.com with the line 'unsubscribe blue_planet' as the body of the message.